The Science of Anger: Understanding It Can Change Your Life

Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions.  It gets a bad rap because it often causes intense outward expressions—like yelling or aggressive behavior—and can leave others feeling threatened.  That big energy also leads people to associate anger with a loss of control. Culturally, we tend to view anger as disruptive to social harmony.  It pushes back on the “go with the flow” mentality that is often expected to “get things done”. 

In my practice as a Naturopath and a Trauma Recovery Coach, I have heard many variations of the following statements, over and over and over...

“I don’t want to experience anger, because it’s not appropriate for me to be angry.” 

“I don’t want to become angry because it’s wrong.”  (ie contention is of the devil)

“I am afraid if I become angry that I may cause harm to myself or others.”

“I don’t want to get angry.  I am afraid of rocking the boat.”

“If I get angry, it will upset everyone around me.”   

“It’s dangerous for me to be angry.”  

“If I get angry, I feel out of control and that scares me.”

Viewing anger as “bad”, or trying to avoid it because we are afraid of it or the anger makes us uncomfortable does not make it go away.  Just like all our emotions, if we do not feel the anger, it gets stored in our body and persists. 

What if we are looking at the emotion of anger all wrong? What if our anger is the key to healing and transforming our lives?  What if the one thing we are avoiding, denying, or suppressing, is the very thing that will set us free?  After sixteen years of experience in this field, I have found this to be true.

Now, before you go on and get all angry on me…let me explain.

Anger is full of potential energy.  In the world of science, potential energy is defined as, “The stored energy an object or system possesses due to its position, arrangement, or state. It represents the capacity to do work, which can be released and converted into other forms of energy (such as motion) when conditions allow.” (Britannica.com)

A great example of potential energy is stretching or drawing back a bow with an arrow held tightly at the end.  The stretch creates the capacity to do work (launch the arrow many yards forward). A stick of dynamite is also full of potential energy; full of the possibility to create major change.  When the fuse is lit and the spark contacts the volatile chemicals internally, the potential energy transforms into an explosion.

Chemists, physicists, and engineers work with potential energy all the time when creating chemical reactions, studying how different forces interact with each other, and figuring out the mechanics of building a new machine.  Scientists need to understand the ins and outs of potential energy to be successful in their respective fields.  As humans, it is imperative for us to understand the potential energy that anger contains so we can be successful as well. 

Anger gives every one of us a powerful tool to break free from old patterns.  It can help us do the work of changing harmful behaviors, leaving destructive environments, and even provide fuel needed to bravely begin to love ourselves. 

With everything in life, when power exists, more responsibility is required. Just like a bow and arrow and dynamite, anger can also do great harm if not harnessed properly. Even though the possibility of harm exists, that does not mean we should avoid, shy away from, or suppress the anger. 

Avoiding, suppressing, or denying anger to maintain calm or safety is a paradox.  The deeper the burial or suppression, the higher the potential energy becomes.  It’s like the sticks of dynamite duplicate with time.  The extra pressure from burying or suppressing causes the anger to become more unstable.  It can be set off by a myriad of things without warning.  A large explosion, out of control, and very destructive.

Safety comes from having awareness of the anger and then leaning into it.  Awareness around the anger is the same as creating a spark for the dynamite.  You can’t light a stick of dynamite with a feather or by blowing on it hard, or by placing a marshmallow on top of it.  You need something that will produce a flame---like a match.  If you don’t have awareness that you are experiencing anger, you are lacking the flame.  Once you are aware of the anger you can lean into it.  Leaning into the anger is the equivalent of strategically placing a lit stick of dynamite or pulling back your bow to launch the arrow.  Now the work can begin! 

Work requires action.  The action produced by the energy released from anger can come in various forms.  For many people, that potential energy is released through exercise or movement. Other helpful methods include singing/screaming to loud music in the car, journaling and then burning the pages afterwards, throwing rocks into a lake, river, or the ocean.  For others, leaning into anger releases enough potential energy to leave an abusive relationship, reach out to a family member who they have been estranged from for years, or openly speak the truth that has been silenced for generations. 

Being a human is hard.  We need all the help we can get!  Anger exists to help.

Brené Brown captured it well in her book, Braving the Wilderness, when she wrote,

“Anger is a catalyst.  Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick.  Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection.  It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.”

With intentionality, awareness, and taking conscious action, we can harness the power in our anger.  We can begin changing, healing, creating, growing, living, and thriving.

If this resonates with you but you are unsure where to start, reach out to me.  You can email me directly at AleeshaAlkhemeia@gmail.com.